When things aren’t going my way (The Little Mermaid is one of my FAVORITE Disney movies) Side note: I really do believe there is an evil octopus witch lady trying to ruin my life. lol
Okay, so to start I am a 24-year-old college student living on campus. Yes, I am old to the young and young to the old. I purposely lived in the fast lane and school was like a whatever I’ll go type of thing to please my parents. I love to enjoy my fun; however, fun is not a priority in my life right now. I don’t get drunk every night like I once did after work with my boyfriend (ex) waiting for me to get off. I lied he never waited for me but sometimes he cooked dinner. I lied again, he never did that either, well every once in a while if we had grocery shopped and we never did so I think I ate at work most times. Any who, I now know the meaning of the saying “work hard now and play later” I completely did the opposite in reverse, I played hard and now currently working hard, laugh out loud. I really smiled. (HA). I always had a job people, I was never just out here living without funds but still four years ago, I had no plan of survival and now I do, well at least an idea of how I want my future to be.
I change each season, I swear, just two years ago I was sleeping on the floor in a two-bedroom apartment sharing a small space with a friend (ex) and her two children. I did not have my own room; imagine trying to make a move on your man on the floor with a tiny television directly in front of you on a barely standing luggage container. Imagine waking up to a 5 month old with poop running down his back, and the horrid smell in the early morning. I bet all you baby mamas can relate jk jk lol. Shout out to all the single Mom’s out there, just from that small experience I feel the struggle and frustration. There is a good ending to this story, I promise and I will probably lie about most of it but you will never know (smiles creepy). I also remember (two years ago) begging my boyfriend (ex) to pick me up from work and that was like pulling teeth out of a squirrels’ mouth and you know squirrels need their teeth right (chuckles). I was in bad situation after bad situation and I had a sea full of pride to not go back home, which back then I considered a hell mouth cave. I lived in reality of “what Myrina wants she gets and it’s my way” and my parents were not rockin LOL. I am rather semi spoiled and blah, America (DMV) and my Mom made me this way. (Sorry Mom), my Dad had nothing to do with this.
Lately I have been experiencing growing pains, for example, during the summer I walked into a store called Olive Ole and my stomach started to hurt. My stomach felt like bees were swarming around and stinging me on the inside. I would describe these clothes as incredibly cheap and low quality material; however, I once enjoyed this style of dress just like three or four years ago. I bought a dress recently from olive ole and instantly returned it because I no longer feel comfortable wearing this style of clothing. I used to keep up with the trends and was popular in girl world, which include a more exposed way of dress. Crop tops and skintight leggings and mesh top (see through), which girls love to wear in order to show off their nipple rings. Which every girl has by the way, well almost every girl. Point proven it is just not my thing anymore! Ya dig?
Currently I enjoy creating my own look, which is t-shirt, and boyfriend jeans, unfortunately I cannot let leggings go and gym clothes are even easier to throw on and the comfort OMG. IN ADDITION, I LOVE HOODIES AND SWEATS, and wearing black and GREY, but I cannot dress like this every day because people will soon start to think I am depressed and will off myself at any moment. These days when I shop, I am conscious of what I am revealing on my body. “You are what you attract” therefore if I want to attract a BO$$ I must look the part (giggles). My makeup obsession has calmed down, a YEAR or two ago I dived into makeup like food, I enjoyed the smell of makeup, I would spend my LAST on makeup (which I no longer do) and craved makeup like a fat girl craves a cheeseburger. And so I guess a young girl is glowing up (smiles).
How I really want to dress, Look how happy she looks. LOL
Back to my main topic “E-S-C-A-P-I-N-G F-U-N”, I know what you’re thinking “why would you want to escape fun”, my focus is to establish myself a career so that I am able to enjoy futuristic fun and move at a pace with less worry. What I mean by worry I mean MONEY, MULA, QIAN. That last word means money in Chinese, thought that was cool.
In this world, everybody knows money is essential to survival. Financial status is important and fun continually repeats meaning, IT WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. Fun to me is evolving with life and following the path laid out for me. No, I lied, that is not fun, and I dodged all those paths when I was eighteen unknowingly dreading it. It is challenging! Like seriously no one, wants to wake up every day and go to work and do the same thing repeatedly or enjoy the storms of lessons that come in drown you under a tidal wave. The good thing about it is watching me grow into an intelligent, beautiful God-fearing woman and most importantly making my parents proud. Hi Mom and Dad if you are reading this (smiles).
The path is difficult because I am learning myself on top of learning everything else but I guess that is exactly how the puzzle pieces of life lessons find their way together. Fun is what you make it; fun was never for the pleasing of others but for me. I love my secret quite place where I pray, meditate and sometimes I just enjoy the silence of it and I consider that highly fun, more so peaceful but fun too, because I get to sit by myself and unravel my brain, it’s quite funny the things I pull out to find (side smirk).
Introvert Secret weapon one of our greatest coping mechanisms for handling social situations.- Amy Schumer
Meditating at Bowie State University (one of my secret places)